Peeta's lost time
by cawright
Summary: In Mockingjay we follow Katniss during the time where Peeta is held captive, but what happens to him during those times? I have tried to fill in the blanks.


Peeta the weeks lost:

My ears are still ringing from the explosion, but all I can think is did she make it. Is Katniss still alive or did the blast kill her. Why won't they tell me anything? I have been in this room for what seems like days. No visitors except for Avoxes, my food being shuffled in and out by silent strangers. Why keep me here at the training center? My throat is beginning to hurt from yelling for them to give me answers. Why won't they tell me? Where is Haymitch? What aren't they telling me?

All of a sudden, the door creaks, "hello, I call to the door". Suddenly the doorway opens, behind it stands two peacekeepers, followed by President Snow, the first thing I notice is the smell. I have never noticed the smell before, roses and blood. He is who she was screaming about all those nights in the train, this is his fault he is why she is gone. Before I know what I am doing I lunge for him, I feel an insatiable urge to destroy him. I can't stop until I reach him, he hurt her, he may have killed her, Katniss, and she can't be dead. I must fight. Before I can get to him the peacekeeper on the right hits me with a shock. I instantly drop unable to move. Both peacekeepers lift me up placing me firmly in a chair and handcuff me to the chair. Not that I would have been able to move after that shock. President Snow sinks into a chair in front of me.

"Hello Peeta, if you're done with trying to kill me I am quite busy and would like to start this unsavory process. Are you done for now?"

As if in a trace, I state "For now." A thin smile spreads across President Snow's lips. Without blinking an eye he continues on. "As you know Peeta, quite a bit has happened since we first met, but what you do not know is that you were, but a pawn in a greater plan. Haymitch, your advisor as well as many others were plotting to ignite a rebellion against the Capitol. With the help of District 13…"

Snapped attentive, I interrupt "District 13? What are you talking about District 13?" President Snow obviously annoyance with the interruption continues on. "District 13 is leading the rebellion against Panem. They are using the images of Katniss as their martyr of their cause. I however have other plans. I plan to kill her in front of the audience of Panem unless you can persuade the rebels to cease fire. We all know Peeta that your eloquence turned Katniss a simple girl into something greater than she is…. Or will that be was?"

"What would you like me to say?" I say without hesitation. "I will do anything to save Katniss." A sly grin slides across President Snow's face, "I know that too, Peeta. You need to go on air tonight and try to persuade the rebels, to cease fire. Be convincing, Peeta." They served a meal, nothing of the decadence that the capital has always proven to be, but the lamb stew isn't meant to be appealing, it's meant to remind me of my job this evening. I must stop the rebellion I must save Katniss. What seems like hours pass before my prep team arrives to prepare me for the interview with Caesar Flickerman. Yet, another opportunity for the Capitol to put its message out to the people of Panem to exploit its control over all, but for me its battle. I must protect Katniss.

Caesar Flickerman is his usual boisterous self, highlighted in his powder blue wig, rushing around finalizing the preparations for the show. I am seated in the same position I was only a short time before for the interview with him before the Quarter quell. Why does it seem like an eternity, since then? I'm in my own mind when Caesar leans in front of me and grabs my shoulder and says, "Sorry to hear that Katniss deceived you so, being a Rebel with District 13 and all, hopefully you can help put a stop to the war tonight." Looking up at him I get the gravity of his words. He just told me that Katniss is alive and with District 13. Snow lied, or did he did he only imply that he had her? Did I just assume he had her in his grasps? He did say he was going to kill her, make an example of her. If I keep with the original plan and call for a cease fire, I can still try to save her. My interview with Caesar is as it usually is we have our usual banter and I defend Katniss. At the end I call for a cease-fire, as instructed. I hope it's enough.

I arrive back at my room, only to find President Snow in a chair. "Peeta, I am truly sorry for this." He walks out of the room, before I know what happens a shot is in my arm and everything goes black.

I wake up to the sound of Katniss screaming, where is she? Where am I? I am no longer in my room at the training center. I don't know where I am, but it is safe to assume this is prison. The walls are gray, the floor is gray, compared to everything else in the capitol this is colorless and dark. I hear a scream again, I try to move my hands to sit up and realize they are handcuffed to the sides of the bed, as are my feet. Straining myself against them I try to break free, but it's no use. It's the third time I hear the scream, she scream stream of foul words and I realize it's not Katniss, it's….Johanna. How can I hear her through these walls? Then I notice the speakers above my head. They want me to hear her. They want me to know she is in pain. Her screams go on and on until all of a sudden they stop. Then the door opens and several peacekeepers walk in. The peacekeepers part and I see that in between them is Thread, the head peacekeeper from District 12.

Thread, orders several peacekeeper to grab release me from the bed and shackle me into cuffs on my feet and hands. I don't resist, there is no point in fighting. I will lose against them and their weapons and what use am I to Katniss, if I am dead now. Before I was going to save her life by dying now if I die, I am leaving her behind. I need to live for her now. Then the peacekeepers sit me down in the chair.

I am in the chair only a second before I realize this is not a chair for the person being tortured, physically that is. This is a chair for the person being forced to watch. In front of me they have the two avoxes that served during the quarter quell. Thread walks over to them and looks back at me and begins to speak, "Peeta, have you met Latvia and Darius? I do believe you have. I am pretty sure that you are very familiar with them both. They are both traitors of the Capitol. Do you know what the punishment is for being a traitor of the Capitol?" My breath is heavy and my throat is tight. Before I can speak, Thread continues. "Torture and then death, unless…" he turns to them, "a traitor is redeemed by providing the capitol with the information it needs on the rebels." Almost on command, a peacekeeper rolls in what looks like a box with nobs and two cords. Thread then places one cord on each of Latvia's fingers, he turns the nobs and shouts at her, "I know you know who is a spy from district 13, tell me." With tears running down her face she tries to respond, but all that comes out is a painful moan. Immediately Thread turns around and hits the button sending a jolt of electricity through her, it must have been too much for her because she immediately hunches over and is gone.

Thread shouts at the peacekeeper that brought in the box, "It was too high! Lower it; I don't want him getting away so easily." He looks over at me "Don't look away, if I see you look away. I will cut off pieces of him. One piece at a time!" I sink into my chair and watch; I don't say a thing I just watch as the torture goes on for hours, despite my effort to keep watch. Thread cuts away at Darius anyways. Finally the voltage takes Darius and he is released into death. Thread having completed his task seems, content with himself when he walks over to me. "If Snow, would let me I'd show you what I think of Traitors too, but as of right now he has bigger plans for you." They drag me back to my cell to a concert of Johanna's screams.

I have given up on eating, not that I'd want to eat what they bring anyways. Today they served mockingjay, as they did yesterday and the day before. I am beginning to feel frail, but I can't eat. I estimate it's been a little over a week since Darius and Latvia died. All of a sudden the door opens, Thread and several peacekeepers enter. They drag me again to another room. In this room they strap me to a chair in front of a screen. People who seem like doctors put IV's in either arm. All I can think is this is it, this is when I die. Before I know it the pains of hunger start to cease and I am feeling a bit better. That is when the screen turns on. It's her face, her beautiful face and she is smiling. How did they get a picture of her smiling, she rarely smiles. Then all of a sudden my arms are on fire. The burn flows in through the tubes in my arms; quickly the room begins to sway and my vision blurry. I recognize this feeling it feels like when I was stung by the trackerjackets in the arena. I try to look at the screen to her face to keep my sanity, it is what kept me going before, but when I look at the screen it's all distorted. She is no longer smiling, but is growling. She is a mutt! Then the room is gone, and I am back in my cell.

Sweating I wake up in the bed in my cell, what happened was that real? I am so confused did I see Katniss trying to kill me? No she wouldn't? Would she? Was I dreaming? I am so thirsty. I try to sit up and realize I am chained to the bed again. Suddenly, the door opens its Thread and several peacekeepers, they take me to the room again and I am in the chair in front of the screen again with the IV's inserted. It begins again. Sometime during my haze there is a time when I am on stage reading something, but I can't remember what, but maybe that was a dream as well.

Each day I wake up and I fight to figure out what is real, what was real? Did or does Katniss love me? Did she try to kill me? Is she really a mutt? She can't be a mutt? Can she? Am I screaming? What day is it? Where am I? The door opens Thread walks through. It's time again, instead of the room I am taken to my prep team. Portia's face is frazzled by my appearance, do I really look that different. She places me in front of a mirror, and whispers in my ear "Peeta, look at yourself, fight harder, fight for Katniss", I can't focus on the image. I can't stop my foot from tapping. When they are done getting me ready they lead me onto the stage. As Portia is about to leave me she leans in to kiss my cheek and says "they are bombing 13 tonight, katniss will die". My head is spinning, what does she mean? Does she know Katniss is a mutt? Katniss should die, she needs to die? No, no she doesn't she isn't a mutt? What do I do?

I read the words on the screen and recite them as they told me to, the screen breaks in with images of her, of Katniss. I am so confused. I keep reading whenever they give me the signal. I have to try, what if she isn't a mutt, what if she is Katniss. I love Katniss. Before they can stop me I say "And you in 13 dead by morning!" That is when Thread hits me in my head. I am dragged off of the stage to my cell.

The days blur into each other, I feel I am losing my internal battle. Katniss is a mutt that is what I know. She is the reason District 12 burned. She tried to kill me in the arena. This I know, or do I? They continue on with the IV treatment, day in and day out. All of a sudden the lights go out. I hear something going on in the hall. The door opens, Thread walks through the door, he lunges at me with some sharp object, but before he gets to the bed Gale bursts in. Thread turns to him and they begin to fight. Gale stubbles and Thread drives the sharp object into the back of his shoulder, but Gale manages to get the upper hand and when they drag me out Gale is sitting above Thread's unconscious body. I am given a shot in my arm and I am out.

I awaken, startled by the screaming of "Katniss", in what seems like a hospital bed, but where? The capitol? Was Gale really there? What day is it? A nurse in what looks like a white military uniform enters the room. Immediately, she turns and calls for the doctor. Nearly a dozen doctors enter and exit the room talking about shock, malnutrition and in hushed tones the word torture. Once the commotion dies down I turn to a nurse and say, "Where is Katniss, I want to see Katniss." She turns and goes out the door. Sometime later Katniss and Haymitch arrive. Katniss walks toward me I reach for her…. neck. I must kill Katniss, she is mutt. "Mutt!" I scream.


End file.
